Hi Elena! This week I was assigned to read your storybook introduction! It was awesome! Seriously, I was really impressed by your creativity in choosing what stories to use for your four reality TV shows. It is especially easy to relate to your storybook because nearly everyone is familiar with the reality TV shows you chose to use. The Real Housewives of Dasaratha definitely seems like it will be filled with drama, especially after what Kaikeyi does, and that will lead perfectly into your next reality show Judge Dharma. I am curious to see what Judge Dharma decides, I would bet guilty! I hope her maid, Kooni, is included! I thought it was really cool how you included the magic lotion advertisement, and mentioned Ahalya as being from a previous reality TV show! I'm also interested to see how you retell the story of Rama and Sita in the Bachelorette! Their story relates perfectly to the Bachelorette because men definitely had to compete for her. I love the picture you included for the fight between Vali and Sugriva. I think one of the coolest things about your story is how many characters you have been able to include through doing different reality TV shows. You did a wonderful job of grabbing the reader's attention at the very beginning and maintaining it throughout. I'm definitely looking forward to reading your stories and am very curious as to what will happen! The layout of a TV screen was perfect for your storybook, and I love all of the images you included! Wonderful job!
Your StoryBook, "Epic TV of India", is so creative and funny. At first when I was reading your introduction, I felt a little overwhelmed. I feel like I would get into one story and then just automatically jump to another intro or advertise and then into another story. But once I re-read it and slowed myself down, everything made a lot more sense. Clicking on your first tab, I was a little hesitant about how the story would turn out. I read many storybooks during our first two weeks and saw a bunch of people try to re-tell it using The Desperate Housewives theme and fail..
Yours was awesome though! You told the story with a lot of detail and imagery. I loved how you had all the cues and advertisements. I felt like I was watching actual reality TV! The pictures were also incorporated into the story very well and everything just flowed together. Your dialogue was perfect the way you wrote it, I loved how King Dasharatha referred to Kaikeyi as Kiki, that's some reality TV show material right there :) I think the funniest advertise in your intro was about the Magic Potion and Ahalya. That definitely had me laughing.
I literally have no improvements to write to you about. I think your Storybook is coming into place perfectly. Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see how the other TV Shows turn out!
Hi Elena! I actually read your introduction last week, and I thought it was so intriguing that I would revisit your page to read your new story! I'm so glad I did, this was wonderful! The story of how Kaikeyi manipulated Dasaratha to get what she wanted was perfect for the reality TV show of The Real Housewives of Dasaratha. I love how you portrayed Kaikeyi to be so dramatic and even gave her the nickname of Kiki! It also was appropriate how you showed some jealousy between her and the other wives. I also thought it was really creative how you kind of modernized it in how the characters spoke, but kept the key details the same! It definitely made it fit the reality TV show theme better that way! Your inclusion of commercials is such a great idea! I really loved that! I thought it was really cool that you made it like a script, and had comments about the characters reactions in italics too. I thought your author's note gave a lot of insight into the decisions you made about how to tell the story. I very much agreed with your insight that Kaikeyi seemed more like a "trophy-wife". Although your characters were slightly exaggerated, I thought that the changes were necessary for the story and their personalities were not changed too much! Overall, I totally love your storybook! It is definitely my favorite so far! Keep up the good work!
The first thing I noticed when I opened your storybook was that you had a really interesting image. I remember thinking that all of the characters lounging around in that picture reminded me of a Season titlle cover for a TV sitcom, which fit well with your theme. I do think you need a higher quality image as your background though, as it was pretty pixelated for me, but the TV as a background idea was good.
I think your theme will do well for you, especially your "Real Housewives" reality show. I have noticed that you do a great job with internal and external dialogue with your characters, so a TV screen will only further open up your opportunities for that.
I liked your take on Kaikeyl and the maid servant, although it was a little stereotypical to have her be hispanic. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, and I know some people find it funny and easy to recognize -- so easy humor. And excellent work putting the advertisements into your storybook. I find this particularly funny, because I find ads to normally be one of the worst things to ever exist, but since it's in the theme it makes them much more watchable.
Whoa! Elena your storybook website looks great! I am so impressed by how much you have done to the storybook and how creative you are with your book and all the other assets. Firstly, I love your idea of a television channel and to highlights all your stories as different shows. I must say you are super creative with the background as the television and always making sure you are readers/viewers are looking forward to what is coming next! You have it done perfectly; I don't think I would change anything about your storybook! I enjoyed reading the real housewives episode it was full of drama and juice. You know exactly how to attract your reader's with your choice of words and how you write your stories. I also enjoyed all the pictures you have on your cover page they all bring great highlight to each of your stories and definitely gives audience a glimpse of what is about to come. You chose some great pictures and especially the mansion picture fits perfectly for the idea you are going with. I enjoyed viewing all the pictures, but I would get rid of some because I feel like you have too many pictures on your cover page. Maybe spreading them out throughout your book would be great as well! I must say I definitely enjoyed everything about your book and website! Great job Elena!
Hey Elena. From my first glance at your introduction, I could already tell that your storybook was going to be great. It also didn’t hurt that I had high expectations since Taylor recommended that I take a look at it. This is a very unique idea for a storybook. I love the idea of several TV series as the topics of your stories, and the “previously on…” approach worked great for the introduction. While the description of the first show was a little short, you did a good job overall of introducing us to your individual stories. Another thing that I appreciated was that you used more pictures than any other storybook or blog post that I’ve seen so far. The little commercials or advertisements were a funny addition. I really liked the storytelling style that you chose. It felt like I was actually reading the script of a television show, and I liked how you used italics to indicate a change in scene or elaborate on the characters’ actions. I thought that your decision to make Mantara a Hispanic maid was interesting, but very fitting for the theme of your story. Lastly, I’m sorry about the difficulties that you faced in trying to find pictures of maids, as well as any traumatic images that you might have come across when you modified your search to “old maids.” Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and I look forward to reading your other stories. Good job!
Hi Elena! Your comments on my storytelling posts have by far been the most helpful! You left me some good advice and I've definitely taken it all into consideration. It's been very beneficial! Thank you!
Hi Elena! I chose to read your storybook as my "free choice" this week because I was really drawn to your title! It stood out to me because it was a simple title, and of course, I love tv so I was really interested to see what you had done with this. First of all, I really like your cover page. It really draws the reader's attention because of the big dramatic picture that you have. I also really like the background, I think it contrasts really well with the image that you have. Your introduction is really great as well. I love the shows that you chose to write about, especially the bachelorette because that is my all time favorite reality show! I think you incorporated the Ramayana really well into the tv shows. I actually almost chose to do my storybook in a "bachelorette" style, so it is really exciting to me to see what you will do with that. As for you first story, I love the real housewives of Dasaratha theme. I really like that you made your story sound like an actual tv show with the introduction and everything. I also really like the dialogue that you use for the show, instead of just telling it as a story. This entire storybook really stands out to me and I think you are doing a really great job! Keep making it unique! I cannot wait to read more of your stories in the future! Great work!
Hi Elena! I love the concept of your storybook! I remember liking your storytelling assignment relating to the real houswives tv show, so it's so great you've expanded your idea to a channel! I really like the title logo of your site-- it's looks familiar somehow. I can't quite place it, but I think of TV. Your title page is great! I've been working on figuring out what works best for mine, but yours is a great example of what works. The commercials were an awesome addition-- they were humorous, tied to Hindu elements, and a good break from the story. I enjoyed reading your story again, and I liked how you modernized it while staying true the story-- the maid was still devious and very much dislikeable, the queen was annoying and pouty, and the king was absolutely clueless. Like I mentioned last time I read it, I love the script format and how you really used the dialogue and descriptions to make the scene come alive. I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad you shared it again so that the class can enjoy reading it. Great job, Elena! I really like your storybook-- it is so well-written and entertaining.
Hello again! Just wanted to thank you for all the comments so far this semester. Can't really complain about getting compliments and suggestions, now can I? Plus we agree on so many things: we both find old nursery rhymes eff'd up, we both think Rama's a bit of a jerk, and you suggest dialogue and my entire storybook consists of it. We are totally on the same wavelength! Haha. But seriously, thanks.
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your comment on my last storytelling assignment (Simmering Waters). When I wrote it I was not very confident that it was as good as I wanted it to be, but your post really encouraged me. I haven't written a poem since high school and I was nervous about it. Thank you so much again.
Hi Elena. We've been in the same group a few times, and I'm usually happy about it because I know I will get good feedback from you. I also appreciate your comments because of how much I personally respect your writing.
Hey, Elena! Wow- I’m so impressed by your storybook. Your introduction was incredibly catchy and exciting- I was easily drawn in to your storybook and loved reading along. I loved the “watch like a god” TV network motto- so witty yet realistic for what I’d imagine a TV network for these shows would be like. All the pictures you had matched the storybook very well and definitely complemented the introduction and the story. As for the first story, it was very well-written as well. I liked how you had such great descriptions-“flowing sapphire sari, lounging with cucumbers covering her eyes”- it provides a great picture of the luxurious lives these women live but also shows that most things are not as perfect as they seem. I wouldn’t change anything, but if I had to, I wouldn’t have the maid use the word “senora” since that’s not really Indian and I would maybe change the background of the storybook to be more colorful like the storybook pages themselves. However, like I said, it’s great the way it is and your storybook is amazing so far. I hope I get to read more of your stories in the future- keep up the hard work!
Hi Elena! Your portfolio was actually the first portfolio I had read, so I was really excited to kind of see what it was since I didn't know much about it. I remember being assigned to reading your storytelling post one week and I had read your "Unquiet Waters" storytelling post and was absolutely amazed by it. As soon as I saw that this was your portfolio I got really excited because I knew there would be some great stories to read! I think your stories are so beautifully written and they all keep me interested and wanting to read more. I love that you wrote a story based on the the real housewives show, because that is definitely an attention grabber. It really makes these stories relatable and easy to follow and read. I really really love the "Unquiet waters" story, I find it almost kind of creepy and intense, making it really fun to read! I think your writing is beautiful and captivating, and you really do a great job with character development and really putting your own perspective in your stories. Overall I think you are doing a wonderful job, and I hope to get to read more of your portfolio in the future! Great job!
Hi Elena! This week I was assigned to read your storybook introduction! It was awesome! Seriously, I was really impressed by your creativity in choosing what stories to use for your four reality TV shows. It is especially easy to relate to your storybook because nearly everyone is familiar with the reality TV shows you chose to use. The Real Housewives of Dasaratha definitely seems like it will be filled with drama, especially after what Kaikeyi does, and that will lead perfectly into your next reality show Judge Dharma. I am curious to see what Judge Dharma decides, I would bet guilty! I hope her maid, Kooni, is included! I thought it was really cool how you included the magic lotion advertisement, and mentioned Ahalya as being from a previous reality TV show! I'm also interested to see how you retell the story of Rama and Sita in the Bachelorette! Their story relates perfectly to the Bachelorette because men definitely had to compete for her. I love the picture you included for the fight between Vali and Sugriva. I think one of the coolest things about your story is how many characters you have been able to include through doing different reality TV shows. You did a wonderful job of grabbing the reader's attention at the very beginning and maintaining it throughout. I'm definitely looking forward to reading your stories and am very curious as to what will happen! The layout of a TV screen was perfect for your storybook, and I love all of the images you included! Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteElena,
ReplyDeleteYour StoryBook, "Epic TV of India", is so creative and funny. At first when I was reading your introduction, I felt a little overwhelmed. I feel like I would get into one story and then just automatically jump to another intro or advertise and then into another story. But once I re-read it and slowed myself down, everything made a lot more sense. Clicking on your first tab, I was a little hesitant about how the story would turn out. I read many storybooks during our first two weeks and saw a bunch of people try to re-tell it using The Desperate Housewives theme and fail..
Yours was awesome though! You told the story with a lot of detail and imagery. I loved how you had all the cues and advertisements. I felt like I was watching actual reality TV! The pictures were also incorporated into the story very well and everything just flowed together. Your dialogue was perfect the way you wrote it, I loved how King Dasharatha referred to Kaikeyi as Kiki, that's some reality TV show material right there :) I think the funniest advertise in your intro was about the Magic Potion and Ahalya. That definitely had me laughing.
I literally have no improvements to write to you about. I think your Storybook is coming into place perfectly. Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see how the other TV Shows turn out!
Hi Elena! I actually read your introduction last week, and I thought it was so intriguing that I would revisit your page to read your new story! I'm so glad I did, this was wonderful! The story of how Kaikeyi manipulated Dasaratha to get what she wanted was perfect for the reality TV show of The Real Housewives of Dasaratha. I love how you portrayed Kaikeyi to be so dramatic and even gave her the nickname of Kiki! It also was appropriate how you showed some jealousy between her and the other wives.
ReplyDeleteI also thought it was really creative how you kind of modernized it in how the characters spoke, but kept the key details the same! It definitely made it fit the reality TV show theme better that way!
Your inclusion of commercials is such a great idea! I really loved that!
I thought it was really cool that you made it like a script, and had comments about the characters reactions in italics too.
I thought your author's note gave a lot of insight into the decisions you made about how to tell the story. I very much agreed with your insight that Kaikeyi seemed more like a "trophy-wife". Although your characters were slightly exaggerated, I thought that the changes were necessary for the story and their personalities were not changed too much!
Overall, I totally love your storybook! It is definitely my favorite so far! Keep up the good work!
Hi Elena,
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I noticed when I opened your storybook was that you had a really interesting image. I remember thinking that all of the characters lounging around in that picture reminded me of a Season titlle cover for a TV sitcom, which fit well with your theme. I do think you need a higher quality image as your background though, as it was pretty pixelated for me, but the TV as a background idea was good.
I think your theme will do well for you, especially your "Real Housewives" reality show. I have noticed that you do a great job with internal and external dialogue with your characters, so a TV screen will only further open up your opportunities for that.
I liked your take on Kaikeyl and the maid servant, although it was a little stereotypical to have her be hispanic. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, and I know some people find it funny and easy to recognize -- so easy humor. And excellent work putting the advertisements into your storybook. I find this particularly funny, because I find ads to normally be one of the worst things to ever exist, but since it's in the theme it makes them much more watchable.
Whoa! Elena your storybook website looks great! I am so impressed by how much you have done to the storybook and how creative you are with your book and all the other assets. Firstly, I love your idea of a television channel and to highlights all your stories as different shows. I must say you are super creative with the background as the television and always making sure you are readers/viewers are looking forward to what is coming next! You have it done perfectly; I don't think I would change anything about your storybook! I enjoyed reading the real housewives episode it was full of drama and juice. You know exactly how to attract your reader's with your choice of words and how you write your stories. I also enjoyed all the pictures you have on your cover page they all bring great highlight to each of your stories and definitely gives audience a glimpse of what is about to come. You chose some great pictures and especially the mansion picture fits perfectly for the idea you are going with. I enjoyed viewing all the pictures, but I would get rid of some because I feel like you have too many pictures on your cover page. Maybe spreading them out throughout your book would be great as well! I must say I definitely enjoyed everything about your book and website! Great job Elena!
ReplyDeleteHey Elena. From my first glance at your introduction, I could already tell that your storybook was going to be great. It also didn’t hurt that I had high expectations since Taylor recommended that I take a look at it. This is a very unique idea for a storybook. I love the idea of several TV series as the topics of your stories, and the “previously on…” approach worked great for the introduction. While the description of the first show was a little short, you did a good job overall of introducing us to your individual stories. Another thing that I appreciated was that you used more pictures than any other storybook or blog post that I’ve seen so far. The little commercials or advertisements were a funny addition. I really liked the storytelling style that you chose. It felt like I was actually reading the script of a television show, and I liked how you used italics to indicate a change in scene or elaborate on the characters’ actions. I thought that your decision to make Mantara a Hispanic maid was interesting, but very fitting for the theme of your story. Lastly, I’m sorry about the difficulties that you faced in trying to find pictures of maids, as well as any traumatic images that you might have come across when you modified your search to “old maids.” Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and I look forward to reading your other stories. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Elena. Thanks for commenting on my storytelling post. It was really helpful and made my post much better.
ReplyDeleteHi Elena! Your comments on my storytelling posts have by far been the most helpful! You left me some good advice and I've definitely taken it all into consideration. It's been very beneficial! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Elena! I chose to read your storybook as my "free choice" this week because I was really drawn to your title! It stood out to me because it was a simple title, and of course, I love tv so I was really interested to see what you had done with this. First of all, I really like your cover page. It really draws the reader's attention because of the big dramatic picture that you have. I also really like the background, I think it contrasts really well with the image that you have. Your introduction is really great as well. I love the shows that you chose to write about, especially the bachelorette because that is my all time favorite reality show! I think you incorporated the Ramayana really well into the tv shows. I actually almost chose to do my storybook in a "bachelorette" style, so it is really exciting to me to see what you will do with that. As for you first story, I love the real housewives of Dasaratha theme. I really like that you made your story sound like an actual tv show with the introduction and everything. I also really like the dialogue that you use for the show, instead of just telling it as a story. This entire storybook really stands out to me and I think you are doing a really great job! Keep making it unique! I cannot wait to read more of your stories in the future! Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Elena! I love the concept of your storybook! I remember liking your storytelling assignment relating to the real houswives tv show, so it's so great you've expanded your idea to a channel! I really like the title logo of your site-- it's looks familiar somehow. I can't quite place it, but I think of TV. Your title page is great! I've been working on figuring out what works best for mine, but yours is a great example of what works. The commercials were an awesome addition-- they were humorous, tied to Hindu elements, and a good break from the story. I enjoyed reading your story again, and I liked how you modernized it while staying true the story-- the maid was still devious and very much dislikeable, the queen was annoying and pouty, and the king was absolutely clueless. Like I mentioned last time I read it, I love the script format and how you really used the dialogue and descriptions to make the scene come alive. I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad you shared it again so that the class can enjoy reading it. Great job, Elena! I really like your storybook-- it is so well-written and entertaining.
ReplyDeleteHello again! Just wanted to thank you for all the comments so far this semester. Can't really complain about getting compliments and suggestions, now can I? Plus we agree on so many things: we both find old nursery rhymes eff'd up, we both think Rama's a bit of a jerk, and you suggest dialogue and my entire storybook consists of it. We are totally on the same wavelength! Haha. But seriously, thanks.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thank you so much for your comment on my last storytelling assignment (Simmering Waters). When I wrote it I was not very confident that it was as good as I wanted it to be, but your post really encouraged me. I haven't written a poem since high school and I was nervous about it. Thank you so much again.
ReplyDeleteHi Elena. We've been in the same group a few times, and I'm usually happy about it because I know I will get good feedback from you. I also appreciate your comments because of how much I personally respect your writing.
ReplyDeleteHey, Elena! Wow- I’m so impressed by your storybook. Your introduction was incredibly catchy and exciting- I was easily drawn in to your storybook and loved reading along. I loved the “watch like a god” TV network motto- so witty yet realistic for what I’d imagine a TV network for these shows would be like. All the pictures you had matched the storybook very well and definitely complemented the introduction and the story. As for the first story, it was very well-written as well. I liked how you had such great descriptions-“flowing sapphire sari, lounging with cucumbers covering her eyes”- it provides a great picture of the luxurious lives these women live but also shows that most things are not as perfect as they seem. I wouldn’t change anything, but if I had to, I wouldn’t have the maid use the word “senora” since that’s not really Indian and I would maybe change the background of the storybook to be more colorful like the storybook pages themselves. However, like I said, it’s great the way it is and your storybook is amazing so far. I hope I get to read more of your stories in the future- keep up the hard work!
ReplyDeleteHi Elena! Your portfolio was actually the first portfolio I had read, so I was really excited to kind of see what it was since I didn't know much about it. I remember being assigned to reading your storytelling post one week and I had read your "Unquiet Waters" storytelling post and was absolutely amazed by it. As soon as I saw that this was your portfolio I got really excited because I knew there would be some great stories to read! I think your stories are so beautifully written and they all keep me interested and wanting to read more. I love that you wrote a story based on the the real housewives show, because that is definitely an attention grabber. It really makes these stories relatable and easy to follow and read. I really really love the "Unquiet waters" story, I find it almost kind of creepy and intense, making it really fun to read! I think your writing is beautiful and captivating, and you really do a great job with character development and really putting your own perspective in your stories. Overall I think you are doing a wonderful job, and I hope to get to read more of your portfolio in the future! Great job!
ReplyDelete